


idfc

by orphan_account



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club, Hidden Block (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: Angst, I just really love these two, M/M, caddimoose - Freeform, that's basically it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 01:43:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7738600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"cause I have hella feelings for you<br/>i act like i don't fucking care<br/>cause i'm so fucking scared"</p>
            </blockquote>





	idfc

**Author's Note:**

> based off the song 'idfc' by blackbear. go check it out, it's v good.
> 
> also i use caddy more than james bc i have a friend named james and it's weird lmao

> Tell me pretty lies  
> Look me in the face  
> Tell me that you love me  
> Even if it's fake  
> Cause I don't fucking care at all

Ian just wanted Caddy to say that he loved him. At least once. Let him believe their relationship was actually _there_ and not just some stupid fantasy. As much as he said he didn't care about Caddy, though, he loved him. So much. Even now, he checked in on him, catered to his needs, put his problems first. Rarely, yeah, but he still did.

And maybe it was because Ian thought that Caddy would love him again. Maybe he thought that it would solve everything. Maybe he thought there was still hope.

Or maybe he was just scared of being hurt.

> You been out all night  
> I don't know where you been  
> You slurring all your words  
> Not making any sense  
> But I don't fucking care at all

Caddy walked into Ian's dorm, alcohol on his breath. Where did he get it? Ian didn't know.

" _Iaaaan,_ come lay with me in the field," Caddy said, words slurred.

“No, James. Go away.”

“But, Ian-“

“I don’t fucking care. Go away, please.”

As Caddy walked out of the room, tripping a few times, Ian thought about where the two had went wrong. Why he started acting like he didn’t care. Why Caddy stopped caring at all, unless he was drunk.

“ _I miss the old us_ ,” Ian whispered into his pillow.

> Cause I have hella feelings for you  
> I act like I don't fucking care  
> Like they ain't even there

Ian’s heart constantly ached. He loved Caddy. Why the hell didn’t Caddy love him back?

He asked himself this as he gripped onto the lunchroom chair. Caddy was laughing at a joke Luke made. No one paid him any attention; they all thought it was just some stupid phase, like the rest. But it wasn’t.

_The feelings aren’t there_ , Ian reminded himself. _You don’t like him. At all._

> Cause I have hella feelings for you  
>  I act like I don't fucking care  
> Cause I'm so fucking scared

He didn’t care about Caddy – or, at least, that was what he was trying to tell himself. But if he didn’t care, why didn’t he break up with James? Why was he still with him?

_It’s because I’m scared to lose him._

> I'm only a fool for you  
> And maybe you're too good for me  
> I'm only a fool for you  
> But I don't fucking care, I don't fucking care

Caddy was Ian’s one and only. He had never loved someone so much before.

He didn’t deserve Caddy at all. He was an asshole to everyone, and Caddy was nice. He wasn’t open about anything, but Caddy was. Caddy was funny, Ian wasn’t. It made no sense why he loved him. _Maybe opposites do attract._

But he still ‘hated’ him.

And maybe it would always be this way. He would deal with hit.

As long as he didn’t get hurt, he would be fine.

> But I don't fucking care at all. 


End file.
